February 26, 2012

how I made cookies

I made cookies this afternoon!  I am a brave woman.  here's how cookies get made in my house...  at least today how they got made.

step one - clean up the stove top and find a bowl big enough for the dough.  while looking for the bowl, find that four year old who fights sleep like a pro has passed out on the couch in a rather awkward position.  go find camera.  grumble cause the battery is low and first attempt at a pic doesn't work.  try again.  it's blurry.  try one more time.  this pic is also blurry but you have cookies that need making!  put camera away while mentally updating your FB status with the pic.  I don't have a cool phone that takes the pic and will let me post it.  and I would have to drag out the cord and then open my photo program and I'm trying to make cookies here!  back to the kitchen.

step two - find an unopened jar of peanut butter.  my recipe uses a whole jar and I am making a double batch so I need one of the big jars.  once that is found, it's time to look for a measuring cup.  oh good!  it's clean and in the cabinet.  I place that on the stove top with the bowl, spoon and jar of peanut butter.  get sugar down and measure out the amount needed.  then go to fridge and get eggs.  start cracking eggs into the measuring cup, checking them for blood (hey now, it's not uncommon in home-raised birds that are younger).  get those into the sugar.  start mixing.  realize you need a bigger spoon or a better hand.  opt for the first option and head off to find the spoon in question.

step three - save toddler.  toddler has managed to wedge his 40 pound self into an opening roughly 8 inches high by 12 inches wide (under the arm of a chair).  well, only half of him.  the back half.  I try to work him out of there but chunk is stuck!  I consider my options.  option one - leave him there and go wake up my sick hubby.  I realize that since he's sick that it's probably gonna be harder to get toddler out, probably resulting in him wanting a saw to get him out so I toss that option.  option two - attempt to break the chair.  yes, this is a good option!  no, wait, nevermind.. that is my toddler in there!  option three - shove him really hard til he goes thru.  this one fails, I tried it.  I would shove, he shoved back *sigh* so I went with option four - take off his sweat pants and diaper, protect his boy bits and slide him back thru.  SUCCESS!!

step four - go rediaper the toddler.  return to kitchen and wash hands.  finish mixing the cookie dough.  pull out pan to be used and turn on oven.  start spooning dough onto pan and mess up, several times resulting in "two-by" cookies as my children refer to them.  get so distracted by shiny things, small children and FB that you burn at least two of the six batches you make.  wait, did I say six?  oh no!  make that burn at least three of the seven batches you make.  thankfully none of them were burned to the point they couldn't be eaten, just darker than the family prefers and a little less chew to them.

step five - sample the cookies, many times.  have your helper minion sample them many times.  uh-oh!  hubby is up...  wait, he's sampling them too.  at this rate I may not need to make dinner.  oh well, there's the voice of reason.  no more cookies right now children.  off with you!

so, cookies were made and eaten.  a life was saved in the mix as well.  yes, it was life or death!  we thrive on dramatics here.  I do have two little girls after all.